It’s quite common for single moms to speculate they have too much baggage when it comes to attracting a worthwhile partner. The assumption of singles dating is all about bringing together unattached individuals for either casual get-togethers – definitely without strings – or for fulfilling relationships where the ultimate aim is often starting a family together. Actually, a lot of single guys are only too happy to take a new girlfriend on board, even if there are children involved. But the best way forward is to ensure you don’t make any of the typical mistakes made by single moms. Here are five of the most obvious to avoid.
Don’t Jump Into Anything
Motherhood is often a frantic experience. From the moment you discover your pregnancy right through to birth and then nurturing the new addition to your family, it can often seem as if you have little ‘me’ time. So if you do decide the moment has come for you to seek another relationship, never feel as if you have to rush into anything. Allow yourself the luxury of chilling out for as long as you wish.
Leave Some Time Before Intimacy
There will be some men out there who will be under the false impression women who have given birth are somehow fair game, at least compared to singles who have yet to experience the joys of bringing up families. This is, of course, nonsense. It is entirely up to you to draw the red lines when it comes to entering into a new relationship. Never feel pressurized into intimacy by a prospective partner. You should be the one who is dictating the course of events, especially in terms of how quickly or slowly you decide on getting physical again.
Introduce the Kids Gradually
Once aspect of single motherhood guaranteed to get any new boyfriend running off into the sunset is if you pressurize them into accepting a new family from an early stage. You should certainly keep them appraised of the fact you are a single mom from day one. Most guys will be turned by this, and if they aren’t, they’re the type of immature brat you could well do without getting acquainted with. But if you want your fledgling relationship to progress at a steady rate, where you are you both accommodating each other’s aspirations, make sure you bring your children into the equation at an appropriate stage, once you have established the appropriate degree of trust and respect.
Always Focus On Your Kids
It might seem as if it is a bit of a no-brainer, but it is worth emphasizing the fact your kids must always be your primary focus. This is especially the case if you are a single mom with all the responsibility entailed by bringing up a family entirely on your own. You should be proud of your actions at all times and if any potential partner is not prepared to accept this situation, then you should swiftly kick them into touch. The majority of men entering into a partnership with a single mom relish the prospect of having potential stepkids who will get round to referring to them as their dad when the time is right.
Keep Your History Private
Any new boyfriend might well feel like delving into your past by asking questions about the father of your children, or how come your relationship happened to end up on the rocks in the first place. Politely inform them this is all in the past, and if they want to any sort of future in a partnership with you, they must look forward, not backward.