As I got pregnant, the only thing I was afraid of was socializing in a new role. All those mothers seemed to me far from the sphere of my interests.
Even before getting pregnant, I was getting irritated by the Newslines of my social networks. I hated those “baby posts” of the new mothers or the mothers-to-be. I couldn’t get – what’s all that buzz about? Why cannot you live a normal life without boasting left and right about that you have realized your basic instincts – breeding! It’s just the DNA code you have united with the other DNA code to get a creature with that weird combination of the DNA codes of those two people. Why posting all those pictures of the babies, who are not even cute? I mean, they look alien during the first three months of their life. I even had a list of things I hated about mothers.
If you meet a new mother in the street – don’t ask her, how she is doing.
Because she, most probably, will tell you everything in details.
Explanation: The woman you once knew doesn’t exist anymore. She used to go to work, have hobbies and interests. Now she probably hasn’t spoken to a person with developed speech for more than 6 months. She had no chance to tell you, how messy has her life become. She cannot tell things it to her husband – she has to stay strong. She cannot pour out her heart to her mother – her mother will teach her life. She cannot tell it to her baby – it is not good for the baby. Everyone is trying hard not to be that kind of mom… But…
Tons of pictures of the child on the internet – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram – everywhere.
Explanation: The new mom has no taste for the photography art. She is persuaded that any picture of her child is a masterpiece by itself, because there’s her child on the picture! Or, the other version of such behavior – she seriously doubts that her baby is somewhat cute and is hoping that people will tell her – “oh, what a cute baby”.
Moreover, they will. Because they just cannot tell the opposite. You would never tell your friend her baby is ugly, would you? Even if it is. And the last (and the least reason) – the woman is so much proud of her baby and she’s been waiting for the baby for so long that now she wants to scream and shout to the world of the fact that she’s got a baby! As if no one else has children and this is the first time people will see one. Well, my friend is posting the pictures of her dog. Three times a day.
Related post: What Will My Baby Look Like? Why Do We Care
Those constant “We”s of the new mothers.
“We poop three times a day, we’re teething, we’re growing sooo fast, we are a bit shy…” Why we?
Explanation: it’s simple. It is a way of saying. The mother is spending all her time with her baby if she’s not a duchess and has no babysitter for 8 hours a day. If she is the only one, who is taking care of the child – she considers herself and the child a single entity! They were together for nine months. The woman has survived the biggest transformation of body, identity and mentality. And now she just cannot admit her baby is a separate person. I’m always willing to say “Don’t play too long with it – it may cause severe psychological problems in your child.” But who cares. The mother and the child bond in the world of humans is sacred.
New mothers speak – “the baby has changed everything”.
Ok, now I’ve found that out. But the way the baby changes the looks of some of us is terrifying! I know – it’s a bit of a challenge for the body of the new mothers to overcome. But luckily I was surrounded by the women, who got back into shape so fast, that I got inspired by their pumped up looks after the childbirth. Unfortunately, not all of us are that motivated to be good-looking. They remain in only one social role – the mother and become this:
Explanation: that is what a person really wanted to become, but could not afford because of the lack of an excuse. The baby is a poor excuse for looking bad! You have a baby and if your won’t teach your baby to respect his own body by your own example – nobody else will. Remember – a bad example – is still an example! And here I go with the photo proof.
“I am a mother myself!”
Those “new mothers themselves” would probably insist that since you have no children, you won’t understand a shit! Sure… They consider the child-free families poor unhappy freaks. Well, let them live. Explanation: the person hasn’t done anything significant in its life and breeding made this person feel complete and done with the Earth mission. How comes? If you already have survived the midlife crisis – you should know the natural reasons of the need to breed. Basically – having a child is something, that opens the gate of the eternity for your genes if you haven’t created anything that could leave your name in memory of generations. But it doesn’t give you any particular knowledge, nor the superpowers, and not making you any better unless you’re motivated by this child to make the world a better place to live and be happy! You’ve just fulfilled your biological function. Sure, there are benefits of having a child, but not all of those “mothers themselves” are using those benefits for the self-development.
Sure, I don’t mind other children but mine. Sure, I think they all are cute, talented and not like the others. But I don’t like some of the mothers, who are not doing the mother job quietly, but desperately fighting for that recognition of their new role. You have to be stable, you have to be sane, you have to be a miracle for your child and then people will get inspired by the way a woman may be happy as the mother.
Just be perfect.