A father is always a bridge for the child to the outside world. Dad allows something, releases, provokes and communicates on an equal footing, thereby paving the way for his son to independence and maturity. At the same time, many women raise children on their own after a divorce, and they have beautiful sons who do not have problems in their personal life.
Moms can bring up a real man on their own. They can have an active and purposeful son, who will be an excellent husband and father. In the same way, as in a full family, there is every chance to grow up a person who is unsure of himself and cannot respect women.
Yes, it is important to experience the pain of parting. Suffering has not gone anywhere, it is here, and it is useless to pretend that it does not exist. Children cannot be fooled. Tell them that you are unhappy and you need some time to let the sadness pass. Bypassing some pitfalls is important. The parent should not turn their children into “antidepressant.” Your suffering is also not a reason to encourage children to criticize the other parent. Finally, we must not overshadow the horizons of children. It is necessary to outline the future of the family positively: “When I feel better, we will go to travel …” Let the periods of “before” and “after” remain in the life of children. Then they will understand that it is possible to go through the test and get out of it more powerful or, in any case, quite alive.
A child begins to realize his/her gender at the age of one
At this moment, a boy needs a certain ideal to which he will strive, copying his behavior and character traits. Of course, it is better than this person will be a father. But a grandfather, uncle or husband of a friend can successfully perform this role. When the boy grows up, it is worthwhile to give him to the sports section, where he will learn the skills of communication with men and where he may have an example to follow in the face of a strong and courageous trainer.
If the father of the child has died or does not take care of the child at all, the image of the father-hero can become an ideal for the boy
If the parents divorced and the mother is holding a grudge against her ex-husband, you should not report this to your child. In the child’s eyes, the father must remain a good person. Explain to the boy or girl that his or her father loves them very much, but the circumstances are such that they cannot find each other. If the father wants to communicate, do not prohibit, no matter how strong your offense is. Do not create an image of a monster father in the child’s head. This will repel him from all men. It is important how the mother treats men. If she experiences fear, aggression, shame, or other negative emotions in the presence of men, then the child will feel them. This will lead to difficulties in communicating with men. And it is the same important for a boy and for a girl to be able to communicate with men. Also, you can read books about brave knights to your child and select films in which men are brave heroes.
Do not try to compensate for the love of the father, surrounding the child with care 24 hours a day
Self-Reliance is one of the most important qualities. The child should be able to do everything. He should know how to wash the dishes, clean the apartment, and hammer in nails. There is no need to stand over his soul, controlling every movement. Trusting your child is essential.
A common mistake that single mothers make is that they decide to devote their lives to the child, and then, of course, expect mutual returns
The child does not need these sacrifices. Do not forget about your happiness. Do not put an end to your own life. You should not tell the child that for the sake of him, you get exhausted from two jobs, you do not get enough sleep, and you limit yourself to everything. It will create a feeling of guilt.
Mom should be caring and affectionate, but not an iron woman who solves all problems
It is important for the child to understand that he should take care of other people as well. At the same time, it is impossible to go too far and turn a baby from childhood into a responsible person who must fully take care of a weak and defenseless mom.
Praise the child more often. Say: “You will succeed!”, “You are my protector,” etc
For a child who is growing up without a father, this is especially important. This is how you strengthen him in the confidence that he means a lot to you.
When a man appears in mom’s life, you need to be prepared for jealousy from her son
The rapprochement between the two dear people should be gradual, wise, and unobtrusive.
Do not expect the child to fill the void caused by the absence of the main man in the house
First of all, he is a child who always needs your love and support. The boy will become the master of the house only after creating his own family.
If you have a boy, do not expect that he will relate to life the same as you do
In men and women, emotions and ways of thinking are different. Listen to his opinion with respect. Learn to be interested in his world, which is far from yours. Do not believe psychologists who claim that inferior boys grow up in incomplete families. This statement is, in fact, incorrect, but acts as a self-fulfilling forecast.
Always help your child if someone offended him and if he needs your support
Do not shout at him and do not scold in case of errors or misconduct. He must be sure that you are on his side and believe that this misunderstanding will not happen again. So the child will form a sense of security that will help him confidently walk through life. Women who raise their children on their own are at risk of falling into one of the extremes. They can give everything they have to the child or almost give nothing at all. Both positions form a distorted picture of the world. In the first case, the child is likely to grow indecisive and weak-willed. In the second, he may lose faith in people, because in childhood he did not receive parental love.
Raising a child is a complicated matter to discuss. The family, regardless of whether it is complete or not, is, above all, respect and confidence. Your child should know that you always welcome him/her and will support at any moment of his/her life!