Becoming a parent is a full time job. Just trying to get the laundry done while staring at the sink full of dirty dishes and stepping over toys to turn off the oven that’s been on for 3 hours. It’s exhausting! So how do you keep the relationship fresh in between soccer practice, ballet recitals and the lack of sleep? Here’s some suggestions to help rekindle that spark you guys had that led to the current soccer team of kids running around the house and eating up all of the food.
Pick Some Nights Where the Kids Stay In Their Own Beds
Some parents let their kids sleep in the bed with them. Every now and again isn’t bad, it’s cute. But in order to keep the sparks alive between you and the Mr. or Mrs., pick a couple nights a week where it’s just the two of you behind closed doors. Even if you just wind up crashing and sleeping next to each other, the alone time will help with reconnecting and putting your focus on the person in front of you.
There are plenty of babysitters, or even family members who would love to play hide and seek with your kids for the night so you guys can have some fun together! Get dressed up, go to dinner, go see that movie that just came out. If getting out of the house sounds too exhausting, bring the kids to a family members house for the night and settle in for cuddling on the couch bingeing Netflix. The kids can survive a night without mom and dad and the quiet time can help enjoy family time even more when they come back home the next day loaded with candy and chocolate smeared faces.
Get the Kids to Bed Early Tonight
If you’re noticing the kids stay up late and everyone is crashing in exhaustion, try setting the bed time an hour earlier, that way you two can have your own settling down for the evening. Keep a schedule and routine so the kids get their sleep and there’s still one on one time for you and your partner. Some nights might be harder than others (especially when those big eyes look up at you and plead for that extra hour of TV time). Remember, it takes 21 days to form a habit, so eventually the new bed time will become the new normal.
Communication And Check-ins
Pick an amount of time: once a week, once a month (whatever works for you guys) to do some check-ins. Communication is key to reconnecting with each other. See how the person is feeling and what your wants and needs are and if they’re being met. Keep the dialog open and safe, remember you guys are working together and you’re a team! This also helps to make your partner feel valued and respected.
This isn’t just for in the bedroom. Letting loose and having fun you’re your kids is a great well to de-stress and laugh together. Dress up as pirates, turn your entire house into a fort, hide some candy and make a map to the treasure. Keep things fun and interesting for the whole family! Laughing relieves tension and it’s a great way to get some quality time in.
It’s hard work being a parent. Just remember you two are a team and you guys can tackle this thing together. Communicate and make sure you both are on the same page. Hopefully you got a few tips and tricks to regain some balance and reignite those flames! Good luck you two!