It is good to be cooperative and understanding with your ex-husband after the divorce. Staying friends after divorce open a new path for a peaceful friendship and make things more mutual even if the marriage did not work out. Why prolong the quarrels and fights after the divorce? When you and your spouse can easily keep the differences aside and start a friendly alliance. Yes, being friends with your spouse after a divorce, especially when you both had children can keep them happy all the time. Because seeing you and your ex-husband get along without having to start a fight would make them feel much better and even satisfied. But how do you stay friends with your ex-husband after a messy divorce? This article will give you tips on how to begin, maintain and remain friends after divorce with your ex-husband.
How To Begin Friendship With Spouse After Divorce
You can divorce your spouse in a respectful, compassionate and collaborative manner without any problems at all. The divorce must not be so bitter and extremely painful. You and your soon-to-be ex-husband can still keep a mutual understanding with each other after the divorce. Consequently, making the separation less hurtful for you both to handle. If you are looking for ways to begin a friendly and admirable relationship with your ex-husband, then here are a few tips (according to Wiki How):
Maybe Think About The Situation First Before Taking a Big Step
If you are in the middle of divorcing your husband, you can still give it a critical look before hiring a lawyer to go against him. Most hired lawyers wouldn’t even think of their client’s situations. They would rush in when their clients are still vulnerable, scared and start supporting them in court for the divorce. However, you can meditate over the matter first before taking a bold step.
After Divorcing Your Ex-Husband, Give it Time Before Beginning the Friendship
After the divorce, do not be in a hurry to start a friendship with him. Give it some time for the whole situation to die down before thinking of beginning this new relationship. Allow everything to settle first and do not rush it. While waiting for things to come back to normal, you can use that time to do all the grieving you would need, understand what has happened and face your emotions.
Stop Bringing The Past Problems Into The Present
Always blaming him and bringing the problems from the past will only make things worse and keep you stuck. Try and let go of the past fights you had with him if you want to keep a healthy friendship. Instead, think of how you were at fault in the marriage, even though he also contributed and take the blame for that. If you get into a heated argument with him, you can walk away and go back to the things you love doing.
Remember The Good Times Of Your Ended Marriage
Do not be blinded so much in anger that you start forgetting the good times of your ended marriage. Remember the times that you both shared in happiness and not in bitterness. Try to forget about the bad things that lead to the break-up because it will keep hurting you. All marriages have their good times and bad times but since you have a broken marriage, maintain the good memories.
Encourage Your Ex-Spouse’s Capabilities By Offering Praises
Be happy for your ex-husband’s ability to create new things. Maybe making new friends, or doing something completely new in his life. Encourage and reassure him that you have enough confidence in what he’s doing and offer him a lot of praises. Always be happy for him in whatever thing he does and don’t try to make him feel like he’s doing something strange or unusual of him.
A Blissful Friendship With Spouse After Divorce
Maintaining Friendship After Divorce:
Letting the past go is what matters the most. Perhaps, you and your ex-husband did not have a good relationship during the marriage, does not mean things will not still work out well as friends. It may be difficult to hope for a happy friendship after divorce but if you start by putting things into place and making sure that they move smoothly without any bumps on the way. Then being friends with your spouse after a divorce would not be that difficult. You and your ex-husband can still collaborate and be good friends to give your children a great impression.
Below are those tips to follow that would help you remain friends after divorce with your ex-husband (according to Complete Case).
Give Each Other Some Space
Even while you and your ex-husband are still close, you both do not need to meet each other too often. There should be a limit to how much time both of you spend together. Because everybody deserves their own space. At most times, spending much time with your ex-husband may result in arguments. Maybe if either of you had remembered something in the past which was very hurtful and eventually brought up the matter in the present. Then fights are bound to happen. It may start as a chilly conversation with your ex-husband, and before you know it, you both are already quarreling. Best way to avoid furthering the whole arguments is by saying “I’m leaving” or if he’s at your place, you can say “Go away or leave me alone” and this would give you both an alone time to cool down. Walking away from the heated arguments and giving your ex-husband some space to let the matter rest would keep your emotions in check and lower your blood pressure. Do not allow your ego to take the best of you because it will only make things worse. Knowing when to walk away from the quarrels and giving it some time to cool off is what builds the friendship after divorce.
Check Up On Each Other To Know How Things Are Going
You can check up on your ex-husband to know how he is doing at the moment. Maybe give him a call or send a text asking how things are faring, if he had something to eat during the period and try to make it a lighthearted conversation. In a situation where you discover that he’s not feeling too well, leave all things behind you and be there for him. Any caring friend would be there for the other to make sure that things will get better soon. Even when he says he’s feeling well or tries to cover it up, you should know when he’s lying and still offer him some help. Sometimes, he may need you to check up on him. Offering him a lending hand when he’s in need would not be a bad idea. Always be there for him when he’s in a big mess or not feeling well and try to assist him if you can.
Do Things Together
Staying friends after divorce should be something fun and healthy. You and your ex-husband can do things together to keep the friendship going. Maybe, if you both loved watching movies, going hiking, or even golfing when you were married, then ask him to join you in doing those fun activities. Try and spend time together by doing the things that will keep you both moving happily. You should be able to redefine your friendship with him around a common interest and not for love and marriage.
Help Each Other When In-Need
As explained earlier, offer the best assistance you can give to him. However, knowing when to help him can be hard at times because he may feel like he can do anything without asking for help. You both should know how to handle situations well, ask each other for advice when there is a problem and seek any assistance in given circumstances. You and your ex-husband should learn to always rely on each other and ask for opinions that would help. Even though you may want to pride yourself on being self-dependent, there is no harm in seeking for your ex-husband’s help when you need it.
Remember That You Both Have A Past Together
Even after the divorce, do not forget the memories you shared with your ex-husband. Remember that you both have been through a lot during your years of marriage. Divorce should not be the thing that makes all that go away. You can reminisce about old places you went to with him, talk on the phone about past friends and even visit them if they are still alive. Don’t feel shy about bringing up embarrassing stories from the past. Keep him posted on how old friends are faring and have a good talk on it.
Don’t Forget The Importance Of Family
Even if you are no more with your ex-husband, that shouldn’t keep you both and your children separated. You both should maintain a close relationship with each other. Both families can go on holiday and have fun to the fullest. Don’t let the divorce create a fracture between both families. Try your best to maintain the best family life as soon as possible.
Maintaining friendship after divorce requires a lot of effort and you will have to be more patient. By doing all these provided tips, you will be to maintain a good and healthy relationship with your ex-husband. You wouldn’t even think of the bitter divorce because you have been able to establish a new happy mutual relationship with your ex.