Pregnancy is the happiest time in the life of any woman. This time is given to prepare for accepting the new role of being a mother, to comprehend and revise the life, values and needs. Months from the appearance of two stripes on the test to the birth of the child should be spent in the joyful expectation of the baby. Unfortunately, not always it turns out like that. Psychologically unstable time of pregnancy can become a hard period for single mothers who have been left without male support. So, what to do if you are pregnant and alone? How to cope with difficulties and get over your fears?
Pregnant and Alone: What to Do?
How to get over the fact that you are pregnant and alone and become a happy woman and mother? Well, first, you need to think about good moments (even if you do not want to). You need to understand that nowadays a “single mother” does not sound hopeless. It is not the end of the world. Many women deliberately choose maternity without a husband, because they have not met a suitable person, but still want to become a mother. Keep in mind that a family where there is only a mother and a child is also a family, and happiness of this family depends on you. Here’s what you need to do to help yourself cope with everything and become happy.
You need to believe in the fact that the family can be incomplete and at the same time, it can give the child everything he needs. It is better for the child to not have a father at all than to have one who doesn’t love him, does not care and constantly quarrels with his mother.
Forgive your ex-partner. Do you hate him? Are you offended with him? This threatens with the fact that you will feel the same feelings for the child. Simply because this is his child. Remember that for a baby his mom and dad are two halves. If someone says: “Your dad is bad,” the child understands this as “you’re bad.” If they say “your mother is bad,” the child feels that they abuse him. Often, single mothers who can’t overcome bad feelings towards their ex-partner say to their children with reproach: “You are just as mean (stupid, clumsy, etc.) as your father!” Do not develop complexes and insecurities in your child. You had bad feelings, now you will have a child. Thank the man for this and forgive. A child is a different person, YOUR person.
If you recently broke up with the father of the child, you need to rebuild your brain from thinking about him to the thoughts of your baby. The surrounding people often make the situation worse with their consolations: “Come on, think about it, soon the baby will appear, you will be happy!” Thus, many future mothers try to forbid themselves to think about the one who left them, who they cannot be together with, thus forbidding themselves to feel sorrow. And this is so wrong! After all, resentment, suffering, anger will necessarily make itself felt in the future. What’s more, it can make the attitude towards the baby worse. To switch to a baby and live a new life, you need to overcome the breakup. Cry if you want and let bad emotions go. Then start a new life with your baby.
Cope with a sense of guilt. Do not blame yourself for not being able to create a normal family. Families are different, and the main thing is not that children grow having a father, but that they are loved. You will love your baby. Grandmothers, grandfathers, your relatives and friends will also love your child. Your baby has a family! Do not blame yourself that a man does not want to be with you. People do not breakup because someone is bad. It happens because they are not suitable for each other. And now you have a chance to find your man, someone who suits you and wants to be with you!
Being Pregnant and Alone Doesn’t Mean Being Lonely
It seems to you that other future mothers always walk with their husbands who gently touch their belly, accompany them to children’s shops to buy cute clothes, and choose a baby carriage. Do not get upset. Firstly, not all husbands spend a lot of time with their wives. Not all of them have time for walks. Very often such happy and married women go to the doctors and to the park alone. What’s more, you are not alone! You have friends, co-workers, relatives, etc.
Also, consider attending the courses for pregnant women. There you will get a huge support. In addition, there are special courses for single mothers.
Try to realize that there are advantages in your situation! You have the opportunity to live in comfort – to walk around the house in old comfortable stretched shirts, without worrying about how you look. You can sleep however you like, not suffering from nausea because of the strong-smelling cologne of your husband and because of the fact that the future father loves garlic that you hate. Your friends can always help you with some domestic chores if there is a need. Also, don’t forget to ask your neighbors or relatives to be on check when it’s time to go to the hospital.
6 Main Fears of Being Pregnant and Alone
The main fear of a lonely pregnant woman is the fear of not having enough money to raise a baby. However, this is a problem that you can cope with. First of all, the employer has to pay you a certain amount of money while you are on a maternity leave. Secondly, some states provide financial support immediately after childbirth. In each region, their size is different. Thirdly, when the baby is 3-6 months old, he will sleep a lot and you can look for a part-time job. It all depends on your abilities. Create websites, write articles, knit, etc. All this will help to cope with financial difficulties within the most difficult early years.
A woman who is pregnant and alone is afraid that the way of her life will change. Obviously, you’ll have to forget about night hangouts with friends. But this does not mean that communication with the society will stop altogether. Nobody forbids inviting colleagues or friends to visit. Or find new friends among moms who walk with strollers just as you do. In addition, the care of the child will occupy almost all the time. And in a free minute you’ll just want to lie down and relax.
A pregnant woman is afraid of the changes taking place in her body. Hormonal restructuring can provoke weight gain, pigmentation, stretch marks, etc. But, the good news is that you can successfully fight with all these phenomena. Moreover, many mothers even lose weight after giving birth. Breastfeeding and caring for the baby are very helpful here. And pigmentation and ugly lines often disappear by themselves.
A woman who is pregnant and alone is often afraid to miss the opportunity to build a career. However, practice proves that women left without a husband are more successful. They feel responsible for the upbringing of the child. What’s more, all financial issues lie on their shoulders. They are reliable and responsible. Thus, they can find a position in any business. These qualities are very much appreciated by management. And women quickly build a career.
Another fear of a pregnant woman is how to explain to the baby that he/she does not have a father. First of all, understand that it is too early to think about this. Perhaps, when the baby begins to be interested in these issues, a new father will appear. Or the old one will come back, realizing that he is ready to create a family. At the same time, the role of a man in the family may be successfully fulfilled by the grandfather.
And the last fear of pregnant and alone women is the fear of being left alone at the time of delivery. To prevent this from happening, when the time of birth is approaching, ask someone from your relatives to live with you. Let it be a friend, a sister, or someone else. The main thing is that this person will be with you and help you in such an important moment as childbirth.