With the appearance of the child, especially the first child, life becomes completely different. Changes occur in every sphere. The baby changes the usual way of life of every family. Many women think about these changes with horror. That’s why the period of adaptation in the first month of the baby’s appearance is difficult. Sex after birth can also become a problem for young parents. The difficulties that arise are usually temporary, but not every young mother knows about it.
When Can I Have Sex After Birth?
If a woman carefully reads the recommendations that the doctor gives her after discharge from the maternity ward, she sees the answer to the question: when can you have sex after birth? If the birth was without complications, then the doctor writes a standard term – not earlier than in 6 weeks. But usually, a woman cannot return to a normal sexual life so soon. Doctors indicate this period of time in terms of physiological changes occurring after childbirth.
By the end of the first month after birth, the uterus takes on the same size, and the discharge becomes periodic. These moments indicate that the process of recovery of the uterus is coming to an end. While there is bloody discharge, a woman should observe sexual rest. This will help to avoid complications such as endometritis or massive bleeding. When the discharge passes, it is better to visit your gynecologist. This will help to solve two important questions: whether it is possible to begin a sexual life, and what methods of contraception it is better to use.
A gynecologist examines a woman and takes tests. If the doctor does not reveal any problems, then you may start having sex. Sometimes it takes more than two months for the body to recover. Problems with sex after birth happen in those cases when the birth was with complications. Timely performed episiotomy heals in a month. So, it is not a contraindication. But if a woman had ruptures of the cervix or vagina, and the postoperative period was difficult, then it is better to wait with sex.
A woman after childbirth will experience many difficulties associated with the sexual activity for a long time. In general, mothers experience depression and fatigue after childbirth. At the same time, a certain percentage of women tolerate this time quietly. These changes in mental status do not happen without reasons. This is the reaction of the body to a change in the hormonal background. The baby is still very small, sleeps and eats a lot, so there is no problem with it. But the woman is still in a depressed and sad mood. At this time, the surrounding people should be especially attentive to the young mother, since it is very difficult to go through this period alone.
If a woman is breastfeeding, then another physiological process starts in her body. The hormone prolactin which is produced in the body suppresses the maturation of the egg. This means that a woman does not feel the need for sex at a hormonal level. There is no ovulation. Therefore there is no possibility of getting pregnant. As a result, there is no desire to lead a sexual life, as the main purpose of sex is conception. A man must understand the important moments that occur during this period. Therefore, it is not worth it to demand sex after birth, even after the end of the recovery period. Recovery of a sex life should be gradual. This will benefit both a man and a woman.
Insufficient amounts of estrogen and progesterone at first will lead to dryness in the vagina. It will change only after the termination of breastfeeding. The only way to reduce dryness is to use special moisturizing gels. After a while, this process will be adjusted. There will be much less discomfort.
Sex After Birth: Possible Problems
More than half of women in the first months after childbirth experience more discomfort than pleasure during sex. This is due to both hormonal and anatomical changes. For those women whose delivery was long and complicated recovery takes even more time. A big child, weakness of labor, bleeding or the attachment of the placenta leads to subconscious fear of repeated pregnancy. Therefore, it’s easier to try to limit sex after giving birth, than to go through it again. Men who understand the seriousness of the situation should be gentle and correct towards their wives during this period.
A major problem for 3-4 months is pain during sex after birth. It appears because of many circumstances. First, dryness in the vagina leads to unpleasant sensations. Secondly, ruptures or episiotomy always complicate sex after birth. This happens because, with a rupture or incision, nerve fibers are damaged. During suturing, it is impossible to restore them, since they are very small. Then it takes a long time for the pain to end because of these nerve endings. Sutures reduce the elasticity of the tissues, and after the birth, the vagina does not stretch so quickly. This also leads to painful sensations. Therefore, after birth, you should be ready for this.
Change in the configuration of the vagina after childbirth occurs in every woman. Some flabbiness of the vaginal walls also takes place, but this condition is temporary. Therefore, do not worry that the vagina will expand. Special exercises to strengthen the walls of the vagina will help with more rapid recovery. Such exercises are especially useful if you have 2-3 births behind. Sometimes, however, there is an anatomical disparity in the size of the genital organs in the spouses. This difficulty can be overcome with the help of various sex poses.
You Don’t Want or You Can’t Have Sex After Birth?
It happens that the doctor gives a green light, but a woman still does not want sex. Do not rush to make a diagnosis of frigidity. Try to find out why this happens. The reasons can be either quite obvious or lie deep in the subconscious.
Generally speaking, blunting of sexual desire is natural. After all, as long as the baby needs constant mother’s care and attention, cannot survive on his own, the mother “does not want” another baby yet. Therefore, in the body of a woman who has recently given birth, the level of estrogen (a pleasure hormone) decreases. As a result, a woman gets increased dryness of the vagina, even with a sufficiently high sexual arousal. If the process of childbirth was difficult, then subconsciously she wants to take revenge on the partner for suffering.
There are other, more conscious reasons:
- Severe fatigue (often combined with grievance against the husband, which does not help either with the child or the household);
- A sense of her own unattractiveness. Indeed, after giving birth, a female body loses its shape, but many men find this very attractive;
- Postpartum depression. This type of depression, occurring in about 10% of women, can significantly reduce sexual desire.
What’s more, a young mother may simply be scared of having sex. She may be afraid, for example, that:
It will hurt or that the wound has not yet healed. In order to cope with this fear, it would be good to visit the doctor in advance. The doctor will determine if you are all right after giving birth.
At the most crucial moment, the child will wake up. Fear leads to tension, and the woman cannot relax. As an option, you may not wait for the night when you will literally fall from fatigue. Ask your grandmother or nanny to take a walk with the child on the street for an hour or two.
She will become pregnant again, and this is now so inopportunely. Keep in mind that you can use contraceptive methods. Just choose the best for you option.
Sex After Birth: Peculiarities After Caesarean Section
Women who have had a cesarean section feel that they recover longer and heavier. In this case, there are minuses and pluses. After cesarean section, the vagina remains untouched. There are no ruptures and seams, so sex does not bring painful sensations. But the presence of a suture on the uterus is a contraindication to sexual activity for at least two months after childbirth. In any case, it is better to consult a doctor.
Many women develop a complex because of their tummy. The uterus contracts more slowly, so the stomach remains stretched for a long time. The seam does not allow forgetting about the operation, and the healing process takes a lot of effort. But when the recovery period passes, the sex life in women after cesarean section is established more quickly, since there are no changes in the vagina and the cervix.
Often, After Childbirth Women Have Unpleasant Feelings During Sex. How to Deal with Them?
In most cases, similar problems are the consequences of episiotomy (surgical dissection of the perineum during labor). Often it leads to coitophobia- fear of sexual intercourse. Many women experience reduced lubrication, that is, a lack of moisturizing the genital tract due to lack of estrogen. It is necessary to relax as much as possible and use lubricating agents.
Is It More Difficult to Get Orgasm After Giving Birth?
At first, the sexual function deactivates. But then there must be a recovery. Much depends on the energy potential, physical and mental health, and sexual constitution of a woman.
Remember that sex is not a service to a partner, but what you both need. It should always bring only positive emotions to both of you.
Keep in mind that the difficulties that arise in your relationship are surmountable. After the birth of the child, your marital relationship will be filled with new content, will become, perhaps, less temperamental, but more gentle.