Filing for divorce and getting a decree may not be a hard thing. The hardest issue is surviving divorce after 60. Separating after 60 has different names which include boomers, silver divorce or late-life divorce. It has never been easy for people who have stayed together for close to 30 years to call their marriage off, but various mishaps lead to the separation.
According to divorcefiller, there are various reasons as to why people get divorced at 60, and some of these are;
- Men leave because they want to have a new experience in their lives. As women grow old, they tend to lose interest in issues relating to sex, travel, and adventures as their bodies dictate. While such takes course, men feel that they are still active and their energy is always high ending up to breaking the marriage.
- The couple feels that they are less willing to continue with an abusive marriage even though they have lived with the challenges for the past many years. They may feel that time to recollect themselves is over, and they need to have time to be on their own and reduce the pressures of marriage.
- Women have become more independent, and this makes men feel neglected and less respected. The women fell that they have nothing to lose even when they end the marriage.
- They feel that breaking the marriage will give an option to live a happier life and as such give themselves room to live longer than living in stress which may bring heart diseases and die early.
When all these reasons are combined, couples feel that even at their old age, there is a happy life when they separate. One thing you should remember is that you cannot keep mourning a person who no longer defines your life. After all, living with a person that did not accept you fully in the heart will not solve anything. Instead, you will be in pain for the rest of your life.
As much as it is a hard decision to make, look at the years you have spent crying and screaming yet there has never been an answer to this pain, do you want to die while crying?
When you have reached your retirement age, it is evident that your children are grown-ups and living their lives, so, why remain in pain and pity yourself for life? So, surviving divorce at 60 then is a choice that you can make and live happily. Once you decide of breaking up, then it is at this point your self-responsibility to pick up yourself from the dust and know how you will survive and consequently heal after divorce.
DivorceNet shares some tips that will help in starting over at 60 after divorce.
Make new friends
The age of sixty is an age where if you happen to move out from your area to a new apartment, you may wish to settle on your own, watch movies the entire day and sleep at night. If you practice such, you will be in for a rude shock.
As you move into a new apartment, consider making new friends. I happened to meet a divorcee who later became my longtime friend. She used to go for coffee every day at a nearby restaurant, got to know how people live there and within a short time, she had made a bunch of friends.
It’s, therefore, to get out, acquaint yourself with new friends who will help you move on with any hurt you experienced in the past marriage.
Maintain your physical strength through exercise
Divorcing at 60 means that you are of age and if you keep yourself in the house, your physical body will start losing its glow, and nobody will want to have close attention to you. But once you are active, you keep looking younger and happy to the extent that people would want to date you once more.
As you exercise, you get to meet new people who have positive minds and will encourage you to keep moving.
You will eventually find yourself forgetting the past hurts as your mind is filled with peace, you are physically healthy and have friends close to you, most of your age and will help in overcoming the divorce experience.
Divorcing at 60 is not a gateway to the end of life. Learning is a continuous process. You can get to understand new ways of survival.
For instance, you can decide to rear cows that will give you some monthly income. This would be a new experience if you had never done so. Get to know the veterinarians who are around even as you plan to engage in the new project.
Ensure you keep your mind busy, and this will in the long run not only help you in surviving but will be a source of income.
Learn to overcome depression
After a midlife divorce, one tends to a have a wide range of emotions which vary from missing your spouse, longing to hear of his death and wishing to see him only to abuse him for no reason.
These thoughts end up in depression which is a state that can define your incapacitation to move on life. To deal with such kind of ideas and avoid being depressed at such an age, below are some of the things that you can do and survive the separation in peace.
- Acquaint yourself with people who have positive thoughts towards you and share good thoughts about your life.
- Ensure that you work towards achieving your dreams. If you had goals that you never met because of constraints and lousy relationship at home, this is the time to meet. For instance, the dream house that you desperately wanted to buy, organize your finances and plan on how you will buy it. Live in it and have the fun that you missed.
- Grief until you feel that your heart is at peace- It may look absurd to cry over a dead marriage, but this will help you to start over once again, forget the past hurts and have a life that is full of fun.
Plan your finances once more
You may find that finances were messed up during the divorce process but do not sit there and watch yourself dying. Plan ahead of time and get a source of income which will help you to start over financially at 60. If you relocated to a different city, look for a business that could fetch you some money, for instance, set up a catering business to sell unique buggers to people around.
Look for something unique that has not been invented in that area and consider working towards the achievement. Invest in real estate around and set up the most exclusive apartments in the neighborhood.
You will be surprised how much it will be fun to be financially independent at that age. You will be youthful and start traveling to the destination of your choice for vacations.
Nobody will follow you back and forth. All you need is to live the best life and cover for the days that you did not enjoy yourself.
The age of 60 is the boomer’s age where retirement is knocking the door. This can affect a person drastically and especially if you are not an entrepreneur. Purpose of talking to a professional who will advise on the best way forward for your income generating project. You can opt to get a part-time job which will help you meet your daily obligations, You will not only have an income, but you will also be busy, minimizing the time for negative thoughts about your past life and have a chance to equip the society with sills that you have earned over time.
Breaking the marriage at 60 is not the end of life. Whenever you feel lost, and your emotions are down, get out of the house, walk, meet new friends and never allow your mind to have a block which would not only end in depression but death.
Ensure that you adjust yourself and allow a recovery path in your life, be positive towards who you are after separation and you will eventually discover and transform to a better you.
Finally, get yourself into dating once again. Once you have healed, purpose to enjoy your days with a spouse that loves you cares for you and listens to you. However, if you feel that you are strong enough to manage on your own, then let it be. All that matters at the end of the day is to see yourself happy and surviving after divorce.