When I was going to be a mom for the first time, they gave me a lot of advice. But, until a few years ago, there was no one to tell me that loving a child means wanting the best for him in the long term. When my four daughters were small, the long-term did not fit into my plans. The only thing that mattered was to survive, to cover the daily necessities and to avoid that the water arrived at the neck to us.
However, now that my daughters are maturing, it seems that the fog is clearing. I am no longer an upstart, but an indoctrinated more of the club. The good thing about this phase is that my daughters now want to spend more time with me. We have real conversations that reveal a powerful personality. The fact that they sleep the night away from the pull also helps. I can think things through coherently and make better decisions about their education.
Now, I have more in mind the idea of long-term. I think of the kind of adults I hope my daughters will become, and for that, I always ask myself: “What can I do today to promote it?” Being aware of their future has changed my paradigm as a mother because what made my daughters happy when they were 10 or 15 years old is not exactly the same that will make them happy at 25, 30 or 40 years.
Having said that, I have compiled a list of the ten most common mistakes that parents make today (including me). I do not intend to point fingers at anyone, but rather that people become aware. What is instilled in our culture is not always the best for our children. Let’s check out!
Worship our children
When we treat them as if they were the center of the universe, we create a false idol. Instead of a home centered on children, we should try to focus more on love. Thus, our children will feel loved, but they will understand that in love, altruism goes beyond selfishness.
Believe that our children are perfect
The truth sometimes hurts, but when we listen with an open mind and heart, we show ourselves willing to improve. Thus, we can intervene before the situation gets out of hand. It is easier to treat a troubled child than to repair a shattered adult. No one’s perfect, for example, no matter how clever you are in writing you may need a professional help like GPALabs.
Live through our children
We parents are very proud of our children. When they get something, it makes us happier than if we had gotten it ourselves. The truth is that if we get too involved in their lives, it will be more complicated to see where they end up and where we started.
Try to be our son’s best friend
Trying to be your child’s best friend can only lead to excessive permissiveness, and to making desperate decisions for fear of not having their approval. This is not love, but a necessity.
Enter a competition for being the best father
I think that children have to work hard and understand that dreams are not fulfilled just like that, that they have to work and fight for it. However, if we encourage an attitude of winning whatever the cost and we allow them to push other children to be the first, the thing is getting out of hand.
Forgetting how wonderful it is
Sometimes, we forget to let our children behave like children and enjoy their childhood. Childhood is a time of games and discoveries. When we hurry the children, we are stealing an innocent stage that will never happen again.
Raising the child we want, and not the one we have
Our job is to discover their innate gifts and to try to guide them in the right direction. First of all, inculcating our own dreams will not work.
Forget that facts weigh more than words
If I want my daughters to be wonderful, I also have to aspire to the same thing. I have to be the person I hope they will become.
Judge other parents … and their children
Regardless of how much you differ in the way other parents have educated, it is not your mission to judge them. No one is completely good or completely bad; We are all a bit of everything, we all fight against our own demons.
Underestimate the character
The character, the moral fiber, and an internal compass are the foundations that form the basis for a happy and healthy future. This is more important than any newsletter or any trophy you earn.