Childfree is a conscious choice of not being a parent, to not having any offspring, a subculture and ideology characterized by a conscious reluctance to have children. The basic idea of childfree – the refusal of children in the name of personal freedom and the promotion of a childless lifestyle.
Due to the sacred canons of marriage and family, the childfree idea in modern society meets the disapproval of the conservative majority. But the reasons for the growing interest in this phenomenon are far from selfish. The choice is truly conscious and full of responsibility: the people who decide to not have children – do realize the responsibility of parenthood, and want to avoid it. Some say – it’s selfish to live only for yourself. Not true – it’s selfish to have children for yourself, to give birth in order to secure your old age by someone, who will take care. Thus – the child-free people choose not to impose any responsibility on others.
The Evident Pros of Being Childfree:
- The planet is overpopulated – we’re way too many that every person could have the spot under the sun
- Maintaining your identity – we have to spend all our free time taking care of the children until they turn independent
- The constant anxiety for the children is preventing us from living a full life.
- Sometimes you stay together with the person you lost love, trust and respect to.
Thus, it appears that being childfree doesn’t mean being selfish. The childfree people guarantee that they will not overcrowd the world with badly educated offspring, because they understand, what are the responsibilities of being a parent. Though childfree is considered a deviation of the modern society outlooks, the sociologists suggest that this will be one of the most progressive family ideologies of the future.
No mother would ever confess to having thoughts about what would her life be like if she’d never had children. You cannot say that loud, you have to whisper it under the blankets. Don’t judge yourself strictly for these thoughts! All the childfree women by conviction think the same: “what would their life be like if they had children.” We are made this way.
But think of the good side!
The Benefits of Having a Baby
During the first year of parenting, if you do not have any additional assistance, things might get tough. Even more, if having a baby was not one of your main goals – you just had the baby to save marriage, experience something new, or the fertility age was expiring. In this case, you might have postpartum depression, which is a whole huge topic you should be aware of. But if some motivation and reasoning of your actions – is what you need – we can come up with several observations and researches.
You can read these 11 benefits of unplanned pregnancy article to get motivated 🙂
The Baby – Is a New Life!
If you needed a life shock to come up with hard decisions – the birth of the baby is a total turnover! You’d get a lot of energy, which is provided by the nature itself. It is an exact mechanism aimed to help you satisfy the needs of the child, triggered at the moment of delivery. Your prolactin hormone makes you start crying at the beginning of the “Hachiko” movie. Also, the mental transformation, that you survive during pregnancy due to the change of the hormonal state will lead to changes in the perception of the outer world and reconsidering of the inner. You cannot go through this as a child-free.
The Baby – Is a Biggest Experiment You Could Ever Afford
I know, that the childfree people would say it’s supremely selfish. Just fancy that: you have your own little human being nobody but social services may take from you! You can raise a child as a freak that nobody wants to talk to, a genius, and smartass – anyone you want! You can observe the small organism developing according to the environment that you provide. Isn’t that a precious chance for science? Your own science! You would know so much about yourself while observing your baby.
The Baby – Is the Best Chance to Realize Yourself as an Absolute Authority
As we have mentioned – the baby is all yours and you can do whatever you want when nobody sees (as I told you – there are still social services and indifferent people, who may report.) But seriously – this is a great opportunity to develop the right authority behavior – never treat the weak as the weaker, but train yourself as the one, who is able to control all the rainbow of the emotions – mainly anger and irritation. You know – the only the one, who controls himself – may control the others. You have so much to learn about your limits! And as you come out of any situation, involving the baby, where nobody’s feelings are hurt – you are a winner. A winner of a new, improved personality.
The Baby Reduces the Risk of Cancer in You
Nature has given us the reserve of ovulation, which, as exhausting, leads to infertility. But the interesting thing that scientists are observing now – is the decrease in the number of pregnancies in one woman by almost 10 times, compared to that of the 19-the century. We’re not going deep into that, but think of that: your natural mechanisms are working wrong. Your ovaries produce an egg every month and it doesn’t result in pregnancy, which leads to the traumatic release of the inner surface of your uterus. And those month-to-month traumas don’t influence your health positively. You either swallow birth-control pills or get pregnant to reduce the risk of cancer of your reproductive organs.
The Baby is the Reason People are Kind to You
Those, who already have babies and have them grown, feel involved in the secret club of mothers and as a sign of solidarity will give you bonuses of a different kind: a better spot in public transport, let you skip a queue, give your baby a candy when it’s busy with hysteria. You actually get many things those without children do not have access to.
The Baby – Is The Reason to be Better!
The bringing up of your child becomes a task. It is your responsibility that the baby grows confident, curious, kind, strong, and healthy. How would one do that, if that is the first child and you have absolutely no clue on how to make it real. The answer is the same to all: the only way to raise your child without significant effort and stress is that with your own example. If your best activity is eating seeds in front of the telly – that’s probably, what the child will do in the family. But if you quit smoking, come back into a fit, workout to keep the tone of your muscles, read a lot, sing to your baby, dance with it, behave well, mainly – you are a good model for healthy mental development of the child. You have to stand up for your rights bravely, and express the joy of living through love and affection to those, who surround you. To make your baby someone better, than you are – you actually have to be better.
The Baby is a Source of Fun!
Have you seen all those hilarious videos on YouTube, that involve the babies? Sure, if have. Even not being a parent. One may say that not all children are the same funny. But they all are funny in their way. Unfortunately, it’s hard to guess a moment, when your baby will be particularly funny, but if you have established a somewhat good emotional link between you and the baby – you may provoke fun reactions and laugh out loud almost all the time when you or the members of your family are sure. I personally think that it is the main function of the baby – to entertain you, as you are devotedly playing one of the hardest roles of your life – the role of the parent.
Born in Belarus, 1985, a pedagogue and family psychologist, mother. Taking part in procedures of social adaptation of the foster children in new families. Since 2015 is a chief editor of the motherhow.com project, selecting the best and up-to-date material for those, who are planning, expecting, and already having babies.